WILL-- psychology-- overcoming self-resistance

I'm working with a paralegal to get my will documents done -- along with a buddy I work with-- who is not signed up for cryonics. The paralegal is just a paper work guy-- and there's a problem with that. A will involves psychological aspects that are very difficult-- I'll address just one angle here.

My own internal self-resistance to considering my own death-- for real-- not just theoretical-- is very very sobering. I began to be interested in the fact that life was a temprorary condition when I was 14 and discovered thanatology-- from an article in Time magazine. Now at 51 and a buddy who is 73-- who I wonder every morning if she's going to wake up-- impending death oriented thinking is suddenly real. This line of though began quite suddenly in Jan. 2006 as a result of a dream. I haven't been able to shake the sobering idea since then--

Cryonicists are not writers and are mostly intellectually dishonest about death. They don't share their feelings about death and the possibilty that cryonics might not work. Whenever I talk about the possibility that human cognition might be non-restartable in principle-- so that all recoveries might result in nothing but zombies, I'm shut out of forums. They don't want to hear that. When I write about the threat to civilization that will provide cryonics-- being threatened by the oligarchy in the City of London who are taking the US dollar down-- they shut me out.

Through all of this, as anyone must, I maintain an upbeat external mood for my job and other relations. Those relations are essential but they NEVER address the deeper fears-- and I have nobody to share them with except the possible blog reader here-- and future readers. Cryonicists are radicals in society-- and I'm a radical within THAT small radical group. I'm a second order radical-- cryonics being rejected by society and cryonicists rejecting me. It doesn't bother me as much as death, however. It's an exploration of a frontier-- I'm out on this limb-- this line of thought-- alone-- for the moment.

My big push to get my life in order-- somewhat-- through a will-- and related documents-- continues in a practical way in 2008, whereas in 2007, I merely worried about it. This year of practical application of my wishes-- and attempts to resolve some things, has resulted in even MORE rejection by others. It's actually quite incredible for me to view things from here. Cryonics is at least as much about death as it is about immortality or medicine... and yet this aspect of cryonics is supprssed-- not through conspiracy, I beleive-- but by cryonicists' own self-resistance to considering the possibilty of their own total annihaliation-- forever. I offreed them Classical Humanism-- an immortality of having lived through having had an effect on the world-- and they rejected that.

I continue to push forward on this difficult front, while the dollar crashes-- and while Americans themselves continue to be dumbed down. This entire file might be lost. I haven't backed it up.